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Weekly updates


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The 20th of April is upon us and most weed dealers are probably as busy as the shopping centres are on Christmas eve. Yes, 4/20 is the day where cannabis is celebrated and consumed. This day is practiced mostly in North America, and, therefore, Australia. I guess we’re celebrating Thanksgiving and Halloween and Hell, we even fight their wars, so we might as well throw 420 in the mix. I wonder if dealers make gift boxes like perfume companies do as Christmas approaches? ‘For just $35 you will get a quarter, a pack of Rizla and this novelty Snoop Lion lighter! Treat the man in your life!’

Weed is such a wonderful thing. A gift from God, if you will. I could go on about why booze is more socially acceptable than weed (it’s easier to tax). And I could ask why we would indulge in something made by man rather than something that grows from the ground, but let’s be honest… we’ve heard it all before. As a fan of the Devil’s Lettuce, I have nothing negative to say about it, but I do have a view on the inhaler – that is, us.

Those with a Tumblr account will know how fashionable weed has become. If you want your Tumblr to go viral, just set up a still life where you keep your stash in a Supreme labeled something-or-other and boom! 32,000 reblogs. If you want to take that shit up to 100k, then get your missus to get her nails did with something elaborate and get her to skin up while you take her photo. If she is naked except for a beanie with ‘COMME des FUCKDOWN’ embroidered across the front then you have hit the foolproof formula to gain tumblr celebrity status. Great! Something for the resume.

I will say this: even though you are less likely to be stared at in a public place whilst drinking straight from the vodka bottle than you will for puffing on a joint, it is still more acceptable within certain subcultures to be a stoner than it is to be an alcoholic. This is probably because stoners aren’t really as annoying to have around as piss heads are.

But the problem with being high all the time is that you are high all the time. You aren’t really with us on planet earth. In fact, if we were to get inside your brain it would look like someone had installed some mini smoke machines and Prince will be pulsating his little hips whilst using your neurons and glial cells as a guitar. My point is, while you may think you are a functioning part of society, the fact is you are not.

To be stoned is probably the absolute best state of mind to be in. Some would say happy, others would say inspired, but when you’re stoned you’re both of these things. But man cannot live off weed alone – eventually you become a loser. Those who smoke weed teeter on the precipice of attaining the label of ‘stoner’, and trust me, that is not a good look.

Being baked is absolutely fine if it’s something you do from time to time and not something that you are. A cool, laid back guy who works hard all day, comes home, makes dinner, then settles in for the night with a book or movie, a glass of wine and a discreet little joint is way different to a guy who has wardrobe of bongs (some homemade), and makes weed the entree and dessert to every meal… including breakfast. Chances are, if you go into a mild panic when you realise you have no weed left, and can’t really afford any, then people are beginning to call you a deadbeat behind your back. And don’t give me the whole ‘It’s just a lifestyle you wouldn’t understand’ spiel either because my response would just be ‘However you want to justify it, mate.’

God, I could do with a joint.

Keep up with The Obnoxious Owl’s weekly ‘Shooting From the Hip’ column here.